Quarterlife Crisis

I don't know what I am doing with my life.

I am eager to find and start my 9-5 job, which is hopefully something that incorporates some physical activity and some people organizing skills and hopefully has nothing to do with being evaluated on my creative out put.

My therapist echoed my friend Steve when she said "When you talk about music and DJing you. light. up." I know I do. Music making and beat dropping has always been one my most favorite things in the world, but I have quite a cloud of depression keeping me from it. It is a lie to say I don't have the time to be doing it (because I have all the time in the world considering how much I procrastinate on my graduate school work). My new DJ equipment is like a big shiny present with a big red bow and I'm not opening it, and I'm not sure why. It is hard learning to use new equipment because you have to swallow a lot of your pride and get comfortable messing up, and it takes a lot of studying of manuals and experimenting. I actually want to use this blog to keep track of some of my DJing lessons and tips (including "Managing Requests," "Expanding Genre's and Knowing Your Audience," and "Technological Problems and Having a Back-Up Plan". My focus right now is learning to beat match on my new equipment...if not just turning them on and playing with them as I struggle with this depression standing in the way of sonic serenity.

I guess one of the really important and beautiful things is that my parents are REALLY supportive of my new expensive little hobby and business endevor. My father was at first reluctant at how much money I was putting into it but is now particularly interested in the social and technological and business/promotion aspects of everything. Interested is putting it lightly- he is fascinated and we talked for 2 whole days about digitally coordinating a light show to beats.

My mother is supportive of any creative thing I am doing and loves music in general, but she always asks me, particularly when I am working with tracks form the 80s, "Do you play Journey?" In her mind, this would bring down the house and bring everyone to the dance floor. :^)